My Compositions

I began writing my own music around 8 years old, and my first piece was an absolute bop called “Raindrops on the Rooftop.” I began writing songs with lyrics in high school, and it feels like an act of bravery to put them out here because I’m not a great singer, despite taking vocal lessons. My style would likely be considered confessional, so my lyrics are extremely personal, revealing, sometimes sarcastic. I also only tend to write when I’m down or working through a situation, so the angst or sadness that permeates my music is not necessarily indicative of my personality outside of songwriting!

Instrumental

With Lyrics

Note: Click the down arrow to view lyrics

  • You can be who you want to be
    Make up rules to your own game
    But I quit that long ago
    Cause when I grew, you stayed the same

    And you can play the victim
    Tell them all I just went crazy
    But we know, we both know
    Your memory is not that hazy

    I was falling down, I was crying out
    Waving my flag for a hand to lend
    Sent my signal loud, you didn’t hear a sound
    I thought I’d sent an SOS to a friend
    But you passed me by
    And you told them lies
    You kicked me hard when I was down

    So let’s set it straight, what happened
    When I was drowning, you chose not to see
    But still you had a lot to say about it
    But you said it to everyone but me

    You tried to tear me down while I kept your secrets
    Standing still while I tried to see my own dreams through
    So you love misery doesn’t mean that I should too
    Jealousy is a bad look on you

    I was falling down, I was crying out
    Waving my flag for a hand to lend
    Sent my signal loud, you didn’t hear a sound
    I thought I’d sent an SOS to a friend
    But you passed me by
    And you told them lies
    You kicked me hard when I was down

    You think you play a good guy well
    But I know all the things you’ve said
    You tell yourself you’re happy this way
    But only you have to live inside your head

    I was falling down, I was crying out
    Waving my flag for a hand to lend
    Sent my signal loud, you didn’t hear a sound
    I thought I’d sent an SOS to a friend
    But you passed me by
    And you told them lies

  • All of this time walking in daydream
    Only to find a world that’s not what it seems

    Woke up to light that blinded and burned
    I flew to close to the sun, wings on fire, lesson learned

    Fell from the sky, I don’t think you thought I would drown
    But your soul was the sea that pulled me all the way down

    There must be more than a pinpoint of love that could be mine
    But your star burned so bright that I let it fill the entire sky

    It must be possible to swim, there must be a way to not fall in
    I won’t stay faithful to something I have no faith in
    It must be possible not to drown, to keep my head about me when you’re around
    It must be that you are not the best part of me

    Standing on the edge of something I can’t explain
    Knowing that if I jump, you won’t break my fall, you won’t ease the pain
    What is this thing? What are we doing? Your heart is not mine
    What is love worth when it happens at the wrong time?

    There must be more than a pinpoint of love that could be mine
    But your star burned so bright that I let it fill the entire sky

    It must be possible to swim, there must be a way to not fall in
    I won’t stay faithful to something I have no faith in
    It must be possible not to drown, to keep my head about me when you’re around
    It must be that you are not the best part of me

    I can’t shake you off
    Will I hit rock bottom or find the shore?
    Trying to keep my head up for air
    Will I dive into you or can I swim some more?
    Let me stay in the dream

    There must be more to life than waiting for someone like you
    But your heart burned so bright that you made it so easy to do

    It must be possible to swim, there must be a way to not fall in

    I won’t stay faithful to something I have no faith in
    It must be possible not to drown, to keep my head about me when you’re around
    It must be that you are not the best part of me

  • I stood in a hallway of my design
    Your face in rows of frames along each side
    Like walking the plank surrounded by my mistake
    What was I thinking to paint you that way?

    I light the match that will burn this place down to the ground
    Let the flames fly wild and free
    Halo of ashes as they rain down on me
    Patron saint of not letting go
    Queen in her crown of told you so
    I’ll be as petty as I please

    I fell from a cliff, or maybe I jumped
    If I thought you were there calling from down below that would be enough to jump
    Like flying, like dying
    Like finding an empty space in your place

    I light the match that will burn this place down to the ground
    Let the flames fly wild and free
    Halo of ashes as they rain down on me
    Patron saint of not letting go
    Queen in her crown of told you so
    I’ll be as petty as I please
    I’ll be as needy as I need

    And all the time, the drama is at play
    With or without you
    Cause I knew you’d never stay
    I’m on fire, you’re in the front row
    Queen of self-sabotage
    The star of my own show

    I light the match that will burn this place down to the ground
    Let the flames fly wild and free
    Halo of ashes as they rain down on me
    Patron saint of not letting go
    Queen in her crown of told you so
    I’ll be as petty as I please
    I’ll be as needy as I need

  • Everyday my memory is quicksand
    Might write it on the bedroom wall
    or the back of my hand

    You walked beside me, my witness
    No life on Earth doesn’t crave this

    When I needed a sign, you waved your flag
    But I was colorblind
    And now I see your red
    Do you see my flag is white?

    I need to be shown so many signs, bright and wide,
    That there’s an exit and a reason to go from this world of our design

    You wrote me letters in a coded language
    I was the only one with a key
    And sometimes in silence, and sometimes in distance
    I can feel your soul move through me

    When I needed a sign, you waved your flag
    But I was colorblind
    And now I see your red
    Do you see my flag is white?

    And I’m waving it high
    If you need a sign, here’s mine
    All the language, all the colors, all our world
    Gone with a sigh

    I need to be shown so many signs
    To see the exit and to see the real you
    To see the world that we designed was a lie

  • Gratitude as deep as the sea
    Long as the list of things he taught to me

    Nature’s beauty, the mystery of the stars
    The magical places where his thoughts are

    Wisdom grows year after year
    He’s a well-read mind and a musical ear

    Inner world that never stops moving
    Inner soundtrack that never stops grooving

    He’s a liberal heart and an untamed soul
    A creative mind and a student of the cosmos
    A curious nature, spirit wild and free
    And I’m the lucky one cause he gave it all to me

    Earth traveler, world wanderer
    A star gazer and an amateur astronomer
    A free thinker, a peace seeker
    He’d like to see more love in this world cause

    He’s a liberal heart and an untamed soul
    A creative mind and a student of the cosmos
    A curious nature, spirit wild and free
    And I’m the lucky one cause he gave it all to me

  • And the rain comes down
    Thought I would need you here
    But the only sound
    Is my mind crystal clear

    Thought this would be so hard
    To build a life without you
    But now I’m standing on my own two feet
    No one can tell me what to do

    I was always the one with stars in my eyes
    And you met me halfway and then backed away
    And that’s why they all died
    I know that you will never ever forget me
    Now that I’m gone

    I thought you knew me, I guess you don’t
    And if you do, then forget it all
    Just let me be a face without a name
    Don’t write a message, don’t call

    Thought this would hurt like hell
    To lose my lover and my closest friend
    But the storm has taught me well
    I never break because I bend

    I was always the one with stars in my eyes
    And you met me halfway and then backed away
    And that’s why they all died
    I know that you will never ever forget me
    Now that I’m gone

  • You paint that smile on your face
    You find some words that might be your saving grace
    Thought you hung the moon
    And you let it go down too soon

    Boy, are you kidding me?
    So many secrets they shouldn’t see
    That you’ve shown
    Now they know
    And you hide while I’m exposed
    Hope it hurts when you fall from your pedestal

    Loving you was a curse
    What’s done is done, but you keep making it worse
    Thought you were the sun, thought you were the whole sky
    But the fire died

    Boy, are you kidding me?
    So many secrets you didn’t want them to see
    Now they do
    ‘Cause you’re a fool
    And you hide while I’m see-through
    Hope it hurts when you fall from your pedestal

    You paint that smile on your face
    Don’t you know they all know you’re a disgrace?

    Boy, are you kidding me?
    So many secrets that they shouldn’t see
    That you’ve shown
    Now they know
    And you hide while I’m exposed
    Hope it hurts when you fall from your pedestal

  • Two years, you don’t get another try
    One lie echoes across time
    You were always so blind
    You were never very kind

    And I don’t know why you show
    Up in my mind some times

    If love is a sea, you wouldn’t touch a drop
    Doesn’t hate get boring?
    Now I’ve shed you like a skin
    I’ll never miss you again
    All that’s left is a story

    And it’s not even a good one
    Another drama for the shelf

    One word you wouldn’t say
    Is sorry so hard you’d let me walk away?
    All of this time you’ll spend on your fights
    Anything to prove you’re always right

    And I don’t know why I show
    Up to the fight sometimes

    If love is a sea, you wouldn’t touch a drop
    Doesn’t hate get boring?
    Now I’ve shed you like a skin
    I’ll never miss you again
    All that’s left is a story

    And it’s not even a good one
    Another drama for the shelf

  • No one knows where her lonely grows
    She waters it like a garden, holds it close like a rose

    No one sees when she falls to her knees
    She thinks maybe sadness is the only friend I need

    What is left to live for when living is always alone?
    And no four walls in this world could ever feel like home

    No one’s coming to find you if you don’t make a sound
    Nobody knows that you need to hear that you’re needed around
    No one can read your mind
    So come on and give someone a sign
    Don’t curl up all alone in your garden of loneliness
    She’s not your friend

    No one knows how deep these roots can go
    And so she lies in her garden watching sadness grow

    around and inside her ‘til loneliness defines her
    She curls up small and silent, suffering, who cares who finds her

    What is left of living when death seems so serene?
    Rather slip into an ever-long dream than make a scene
    But you know that

    No one’s coming to find you if you don’t make a sound
    Nobody knows that you need to hear that you’re needed around
    No one can read your mind
    So come on and give yourself some time
    To wake up alone without loneliness
    Filling your bed, filling your head

    Wake up, clear the flowers from your eyes
    You know you already know their beauty’s a disguise
    Wake up, burn that garden to the ground
    Run out of the ashes and make a big big sound

    Burn it down, burn it down
    Lay your flowers on the ground
    Don’t curl up alone in your garden
    It’s not the end for you

  • You were a monster under my bed
    Every nightmare that wakes me up is you taking up space inside my head

    You were a black hole, you spun me inside out
    Every dream I had with you was laced with worry and doubt

    You were a hurricane, you blew me away
    Every moment spent with you was water spinning down the drain

    You were the darkness, lust and beauty and sin
    I’m tired of running away, open my eyes to let the

    Light in, let the light in
    Help me see with clarity
    What it is to be free
    To sleep in peace

    You were an overdose, too much too soon
    Every time I wake up scared you’re the shadow in the room

    You were the wrong way, and I drove right in
    After the wreckage clears, open my eyes to let the

    Light in, let the light in
    Help me see with clarity
    What it is to be free
    To sleep in peace

  • All the things you’ll never see
    Overwhelming, overtaking me
    And all the things I’ll never say
    Hope they find their way to you someday

    And I don’t blame you, it was fate who was a liar
    and I’m not mad at you, I’m too sad to feed that fire

    The snow comes down, and I remember
    Every detail about you and the last time I saw you in December
    God I miss you
    Who knew that life would play me for such a fool
    But now the snow covers everything

    Every day it hits me over again
    When the phone is dead silent and you leave me on read
    Only a coward would just go dark
    You know your silence can’t put out our spark

    And I blame you for taking me on this ride
    Now I spend my days grieving the loss of someone who hasn’t even died

    And the snow comes down, and I remember
    Every detail about you and how you left me in December
    God I miss you
    Who knew that life would play me for such a fool
    And now the snow covers everything

    You thought this would be easy for me
    You told me “you’ll be fine”
    Can’t believe it never crossed your mind
    That I might want you to be all of mine all of the time

    And now the place where we once grew
    is cold and snow white
    And you, you’re always haunting me
    I can’t get a silent night

    And the snow comes down, and I remember
    Everything about you and how you left me in December
    I miss you so much
    Life has made me her fool
    And now the snow covers everything

  • You are the sky, I am the sea
    And the sun is on fire where we meet
    You are a star, I am the moon
    And you light me up, who knew
    That you would be the part of me
    That would finally finally be free

    All of the world is in love with you
    And I’m starting to think I might be too
    Space and time will sing your name
    My heart is open and I’m singing the same
    You are my horizon, the place that I call home

    You are the wind, I am a tree
    And I feel every breath moving through me
    And if I’m fire, you are the air
    And I breathe just because you are there
    You are the ocean, I am the land
    You are sunlight on every grain of sand

    All of the world is in love with you
    And I’m starting to think I might be too
    Space and time will sing your name
    My heart is open and I’m singing the same
    You are my horizon, the place that I call home

    And they will ask how we learned to fly
    A thousand clouds will part where the earth meets sky
    You are my horizon, the place that I call home

  • Baby, don’t talk tonight
    There’s nothing left to fight about anymore
    I’ve already been beaten down
    My stomach’s in knots, my hearts on the floor

    You’re an expert at putting words in my mouth
    But you never hear anything that actually comes out
    I’m tired, you always make this tough
    I know I never asked you for much

    But you couldn’t even meet me halfway
    Remember that when you hear yourself say
    You lost me, you lost me
    You lost me, you lost me
    You gave me up

    I hope you truly wanted me gone
    Cause God knows you had it coming all along
    All of your logic is slanted
    The only truth I know is you took me for granted

    Someday you’ll see the thing that you’ve done
    When you weigh your losses to what little you’ve won

    I’m sorry that I ever fell for you
    Cause now I have to hear myself telling you

    You lost me, you lost me, and you don’t care if I’m found
    You lost me, Baby you, you let me so far down

    Your eyes have looked right through me
    For weeks that I forgot to count
    Maybe you thought your poker face would fool me
    But that vacancy’s the reason that I gotta get you out

    And when I am finally myself again
    And we meet up, I’ll have nothing to say
    And you can play Mr. Apathy, while your heart is screaming
    that’s the one that got away

    You lost me, you lost me
    Just like you knew you would
    You lost me
    You lost me for good

  • How was I to know
    Love would leave real slow
    She hid it well
    I never could tell
    That she was fading
    Every day
    We’d pretend we were okay
    What a lie
    Between you and I

    What was left to say?
    What role to play?
    I forgot my lines so easily
    A little at a time, the words they left me

    And so our love took her last breath
    We were the ones who brought her to death
    Maybe it’s best

    What is love if she’s not a crush?
    I want to chase her but she’ll come and go in a rush
    What is love if she’s not a flirt?
    She will heal you then she’ll cut you where it hurts
    What is love if she’s not for us?

    What is left to prove?
    What more can we lose?
    Love is a foe
    A sadist who made us watch her come and go

    We didn’t try hard enough
    To see it through
    But in the end I loved love
    More than I loved you

    What is love if she’s not a crush?
    I want to chase her but she’ll come and go in a rush
    What is love if she’s not a flirt?
    She will heal you then she’ll cut you where it hurts
    What is love if she’s not for us?

Lyrics only

The songs below have been written and notated, but not yet recorded. Click for the song lyrics.

  • Every night the dark comes down so hard you cannot breathe
    And even when the morning comes, your heart will not find peace

    Little girl, this pain is too big for you, and you already feel so small
    The world can be a lonely place if you think no one sees you at all

    The colors all drain and the poison ivy grows around your mind
    Can’t quite understand why the world is caving in all of the time

    But it’s not as bad as it seems, you’ll find a way to be okay
    And when you think that your strength cannot last
    Just know the present must become the past

    Everybody thinks they know that you’re playing a silly teenage game
    If they knew the war that you fight, do you think they’d say the same?

    Don’t you want to open your heart to the people who loved you all along?
    But these days, you wonder who will miss you when you’re gone

    Time will change your face, you’ll start to find the answers that you seek
    But sometimes in the mirror, still, it’s your face that’s looking back at me

    And I would tell you every day
    Let this world give you a reason to stay
    Just keep both feet on the ground
    Keep walking through the dark that you see

    Until it finally brings you to me
    I’ll share with you the peace that I’ve found

  • TW: Suicidal ideation

    Woke up again today, my head in a haze
    I’ve lost all memory of better days
    Can’t find the words to say I think I’ve drowned
    So I’ll get through this day without making a sound

    You’ll think I’m talking to you, but I am not here
    Alone in some dark space, a million miles from anywhere
    And it’s my heart that’s fighting with my mind
    Don’t be mistaken when I tell you I’m doing fine

    This is the monster in my head
    The fight that leaves me so tired again
    And I’m a warrior until the end
    But forgive me, I still need a friend

    This is the thing that says I’m not good enough
    And this is me asking for love when giving it is tough

    My soul is heavy and it drags me to the floor
    Thinking today’s the day, I can’t go one more
    You know I still laugh at jokes and ask how you are
    Clean the house and go to work so you’d never know it’s gone this far

    Will anyone find me at the bottom of the sea?
    My will is growing weak and the weight is crushing me
    They’ll say she killed herself, what can you do?
    Woke up, my head in a haze; what’s a bad day to you?

    This is the monster in my head
    The fight that leaves me so tired again
    And I’m a warrior until the end
    But forgive me, I still need a friend

    This is the thing that says I’m not good enough
    And this is me asking for love when giving it is tough

    Would I be relieved?
    Could you let me soul be free?
    No, you won’t see me around
    Just let the water pull me down

    This is the monster in my head
    The fight that leaves me so tired again
    And I’m a warrior until the end
    But forgive me, I still need a friend

  • R.I.P. to a friend who claimed immortality
    Hope you sleep chained to your own hypocrisy

    You played a girl's girl
    From inside your insecure world
    Take a bow for every lie you forged
    Let's hear it for our Regina George

    The only noise now is echoes
    A canyon of your silent sound
    Trying to please everyone
    Are they happy now?

    Looking for validation
    Like a fixation
    And I'm done

    Something that I failed to see
    Was that you'd vanish and I would just feel free
    Out in the shadows, where did you fall?
    But just like you, I won't call

    The only noise now is echoes
    A canyon of your silent sound
    Trying to please everyone
    Are they happy now?

    Looking for validation
    Like a fixation

    I respect the dead
    I won't raise a ghost from the ground
    Have the afterlife you deserve
    And silence is my parting sound

  • There is a love inside my bones
    The sacred knowledge I’m not alone
    With each breath, wisdom grows
    Finding peace with the unknown

    There is a blessing in disguise when it rains
    We can blossom and we can stand pain
    Let me see your spirit, let me see your strength
    The only love in this world is what we make

    What’s your inner landscape look like
    Have you flooded it with your brilliant light?
    You’ve always been so daring with your soul
    And I’ve been so honest with mine

    Let’s create a world where we can be whole
    and we can be fine
    Without apology

    There is a light I let run through me
    A ribbon of gold in my head and out my feet
    Watch the sky light up, let stardust be your guide
    Know that that magic is in you and I

    I’ll bring myself flowers, I will make my sun rise
    Tap into the well of love that never runs dry

    What’s your inner landscape look like
    Have you flooded it with your brilliant light?
    You’ve always been so daring with your soul
    And I’ve been so honest with mine
    Let’s create a world where we can be whole
    And we can be fine, and I will be your sanctuary
    Let’s create a life where the truth is spoken boldly
    And we can celebrate not being ordinary
    Let’s find the vein of kindness
    that is our shared humanity
    Let’s blossom in love and light
    And let’s do it without apology

  • When the dust settles, nothing is settled
    Let the ashes fill the sky
    so heaven can witness our battle cry

    Eight minutes and forty six seconds
    Hundreds of years, so many generations
    How would you feel
    When they kill you off then tell you it’s not real

    The only thing louder than violence
    Is the sound of silence

    So the voice of the unheard
    Rises in flames of buildings burned
    We don’t learn
    Choke on the ashes of our grief
    Go and burn it to the ground
    Tear the whole system down
    Fight for what is due, don’t stop making a sound
    Til you can breathe
    Free

    In Minneapolis, he could not breathe
    In Texas, they might light you up
    In Georgia, they will chase you down the street
    In New York City, you might take forty-one shots

    It shouldn’t be a mystery
    In a country with a God-forsaken history
    When fire is met with flame
    Time to rise up and beat them at their own game

    When they tell you to sit down and be quiet
    Cue the riot

    So the voice of the unheard
    Rises in flames of buildings burned
    We don’t learn
    Choke on the ashes of our grief
    Go and burn it to the ground
    Tear the whole system down
    Fight for what is due, don’t stop making a sound
    Til you can breathe
    Free

    When the dust settles, nothing is settled
    From the ashes we can grow
    Keep looking forward, it’s the only way to grow

    References:

    “In Minneapolis, he could not breathe” – George Floyd

    “In Texas, they might light you up” – Sandra Bland

    “In Georgia, they will chase you down the street” - Ahmaud Arbery

    “In New York City, you might take forty-one shots” – Amadou Diallo

  • You are royalty to me
    I showed my heart, you showed a thief
    But that’s okay, it’s yours to keep
    Just say you’ll love me, love me this deep
    Always, always, my king

    I will learn the song of your soul
    And sing it when you just don’t know

    You are my Northern star
    You are my sacred song
    If you forget who you are
    I’ll be here to put your crown back on
    You are not lost, you are not alone
    And if your castle’s burning
    Let it light your way home

    Wish I had known you all of this life
    But I will show you we can freeze time
    We are infinite
    Love knows no limit

    I will learn the shape of your heart
    And put it together if you fall apart
    We are everything

    You are my Northern star
    You are my sacred song
    If you forget who you are
    I’ll be here to put your crown back on
    You are not lost, you are not alone
    And if your castle’s burning
    Let it light your way home

    And if the journey is long
    I won’t stray, I’ll keep singing your song
    I’ll hold a mirror up to the sky
    Let that Northern star be our guide
    Back home to each other, no other could do
    My lover, no other but you

    I will learn the stars in your eyes
    And follow them across the sky

    We are infinite
    Love knows no limit

    You are my Northern star
    You are my sacred song
    If you forget who you are
    I’ll be here to put your crown back on
    You are not lost, you are not alone
    And if your castle’s burning
    Let it light your way home

  • Saw the look you gave me
    Felt the burn of your apathy
    Just once can you see through
    The brave face that I show you

    Hiding again, no you won’t know when
    It’s me or I’m pretending again
    Put my feelings on the shelf
    A reminder to myself that

    You’re no good for me
    This is not where I should be
    Still hanging on to what I want
    Hoping you’ll be the one to come through
    Let down again, I’m not sure why
    I’m still so good to you

    The push and pull of your attention span
    I’m tired of settling for what I can
    Trying to sense the depth in you
    But you’re so hard to read
    The rug’s pulled out and anxiety
    is the reminder I need that

    You’re no good for me
    This is not where I should be
    Still hanging on to what I want
    Hoping you’ll be the one to come through
    Let down again, I’m not sure why
    I’m still so good to you

    You’re no good for me
    This is not where I should be
    Still hanging on to what I want
    Hoping you’ll come through
    Let down again, I’m not sure why
    I stay so good to you

  • And so it goes that life can change
    In a second things go dark
    And there you were, unexpected
    You lit me up, you were my spark

    It seems like gratitude is all the rage
    But man, I feel it in my soul every day
    Let me try to match your style
    Promise to walk every extra mile

    Of all the people who will touch us in life, some will change us to the core
    The good in you is now a part of me, can’t wait to see what else you have in store
    When I was floating out in space alone, you were a touch of sanity
    I’d like to be the kind of friend you’ve been to me

    And so it goes days get lonely
    But you’re the one I wanna hear
    Another joke, another story
    You have no idea how much I care

    You save me from myself
    When it’s tough to ask for help
    I don’t have to say anything
    You always hear my siren ring
    And you come

    Of all the people who will touch us in life, some will change us to the core
    The good in you is now a part of me, can’t wait to see what else you have in store
    When I was floating out in space alone, you were a touch of sanity
    I’d like to be even half the friend you’ve been to me

    And sometimes the quiet falls
    My thoughts are heavy, you fill them all
    And do you know the things I don’t say
    No I won’t let them get in the way

    And so it goes you were my spark
    The one that walked me out of the dark
    I’d like to be the spark someone needs to see
    I’d like to be the light in someone’s life like you are for me

  • I think I’ve said this before
    That love is just a hopeless bore
    I’ve paid my dues and had a heart that was sore
    You’ve got me wondering what all that was for

    My mind is so full of you
    If I say I’m yours then it’s true
    I won’t give this less than my all
    Just have your arms out for me if I fall
    In love

    How can I explain
    I think I knew you in a past life
    I have loved you for all of time
    How can I find the words
    To tell you I will have your back
    As long as you will have mine

    I saw myself in you right from the start
    And now I’ve taken up the study of your heart
    Every part of you is my favorite part
    Your mind is now my favorite work of art

    I’m so caught up in feeling this way
    I speak in rhyme, I speak in cliché
    It just gets better day after day
    I can get used to this, I think I’ll stay
    In love

    How can I explain
    I think I knew you in a past life
    I have loved you for all of time
    How can I find the words
    To tell you I will have your back
    As long as you will have mine

  • September, the backyard, the back of your neck
    Dear hazel, tell me where your eyes have been

    Summer morning, and your pretty hands
    Shape your world in the color of hope
    Well if the ache is small enough
    Then it never needs to be spoke

    Pavement like glass the night the sky fell
    And you rewrote my name
    To a promise that I will not, I will not forget
    Your face in the rain

    In a valley, May sold her soul for a piece of yours
    Collecting summer days and lovely clouds
    I’ll love you if worse comes to worst

    June was asking for a ride out of this town
    Said I won’t stay and watch you go down
    I’ll write a letter everyday I’m gone
    Just think of me when you write your next sad song

    You are poetry to me, oh I can find your face in every line
    You are a song to me, why do you think I sing your name all of the time?

    The scenery flies by, the clouds all want to know
    How many summers will you see me through?
    Westbound to the promise you made, but we know
    That ain’t ever gonna come true

  • The rain sparkles while the girl fades
    These eyes are too dark to be mine
    I’m crawling out of a broken heart
    To see what I can find

    That night I tasted like gingerbread
    And you
    So we drove by every place I’d bled
    You said baby I don’t know about you

    I don’t know, I don’t know
    The answers to anything at all

    The girl says she’s leaving this town
    Says she’ll wake up on a different coast
    I’m running where the sun doesn’t hide
    Where I’m something more than the outline of a ghost

    The lingering scent of your cologne
    Writes poetry across my heart
    When you opened your hands I came tumbling out
    Did you know I’ve made falling down into an art?

    You know I only wear the color black these days
    So you could find me in the winter fog
    I wanted you to tell me all your stories
    But with a wave you were gone

    If you could leave yourself behind
    Would you start your life all over
    As a different person in new skin

    The girl says she’s leaving this town
    Says she’ll wake up on a different coast
    I’m running where the sun doesn’t hide
    Where I’m something more than the outline of a ghost

    I’m counting the drops of light in gasoline rainbows
    I’m waiting for a sign that you can still breathe
    I’m tracing the fingerprints you left on the window
    I’m waiting for a sign that I’m free

  • He’s walking this earth
    I can’t catch up to his side
    Once I was his Northern star
    But now I’m cut out pieces of the sky

    He was my open road
    The thin line that cut through my feet
    I turned to the sun
    Until the burn was too deep

    I know I’m not the one you want by your side
    Baby that’s why you left me behind
    So I search the sky, the color of your eyes
    But there’s nothing left for me to find

    I once knew a boy
    Who told pretty lies
    He promised me wings
    But now I run along while he flies

    You saw me in the rearview
    Tell me, were you happy then?
    Knowing I couldn’t find my way home
    And you’d never have to see me again

    I know I’m not the one you want by your side
    Baby that’s why you left me behind
    If I grow some wings, I’ll pass you as I fly
    But for now I’ll walk this yellow line

  • TW: SA and SI

    Now you can go tell the world
    You’ve laid eyes on the prettiest girl
    (or so you said)
    You’re not quite as raw as me
    And baby, I’m the only half of us that bleeds
    (Do you have any idea how I’ve bled?)

    I can’t find my voice anymore
    I know what happens when I close the door

    I know red water
    I know the shower that stings
    And so I’ll warn every daughter
    That men like you will steal anything

    I’ve got a gun in my mouth that’s gold-plated
    I’ve got a noose that’s keeping my head on straight
    (But I’m falling apart)
    And maybe I am slightly jaded
    For being caught up in your hate
    (You reached in and you tore out my heart)

    I know red water
    I know I still feel you inside of my skin
    I know you wish that I was softer
    Cause maybe then you wouldn’t have to break your way in

    Do you know what it’s like
    to be dead but still breathing?

    I wait for your fingerprints to wash down the drain
    (I still feel you here)
    Burning again but it always feels the same
    (I don’t even care)
    Now you can go tell the world
    That you have seen the death of a girl

  • It’s never over
    I’m carrying a torch in your name
    I’d like to light your path
    But I know that you must find your own way

    You’ve already proved
    That you can’t be moved
    And I’ve already learned
    How many ways you can be cruel

    I’m not over you
    And only God can say why
    Our story is unfinished yet
    And I don’t know the next line

    There’s something on the horizon
    Probably a plane or a train or just another game
    And still I’ll love you more than anyone
    But I know your pride will not let you say the same

    At the end of the day I will forgive you
    But trust that I won’t go in for round two

    I’m not over you
    And only God could say why
    There’s nothing left to find in you
    So I don’t know why I still try

    Your heart is as cold as they come
    And you bet it in a game that can’t be won
    You can raise the stakes, you can put my face to the barrel of your gun
    Just tell me baby when you are done

    Cause I am not over you
    And only God could say why
    Our story is unfinished yet
    How do I say good-bye?

  • “To the love of my life, thank you for loving me the way that you do
    More than anything else in this world, I love you and I always will.”

    These are the lies you fed to me across the visitors’ table
    We held our rosaries like letters to God, but I say prayers and you say fables

    What should I pray for anyway?
    That you’d give up the game instead of my heart away?

    But you did, oh you did.

    Hello, Romeo, it’s Juliet on the other side of the prison phone
    I know our suicide is slow, but baby, you’re not going anywhere alone

    My sweet marine, my summertime dream
    Looks me in the eye and says I’ll never treat you mean
    So you like sunsets, fireworks, the stars and the sound of the waves on the shore
    Love animals and inside jokes, but you’ll always love guns more

    My God, what did they do to you?
    How does it feel to give up on the one who’d never give up on you?

    You’re welcome for all the trials and tribulations
    And you’re welcome for holding your hand when everybody else insisted that I run

    And you’re welcome for the hours I gave up just to see you every day
    And you’re welcome when you had no one, no one,
    no one to pick you up from a lifetime of slow decay

    My sweet marine, my summertime dream
    Someday I’ll meet you in the Memorial Plaza
    My secret hero that still turns the knife in me
    But by then I’ll be so far gone it just won’t matter
    How does it feel?